Hey there, yeah you...I'm keeping an eye on you.
Let's face it, every bachelor and bachelorette, every one of us, has certain types that we go for. For some women, they just love the bad boys. For others, they like the athletic types. I'm looking for the woman who enjoys the "Buddah/sumo wrestler" type. I've always said, if I lived in japan, I'd be a sex symbol, but alas, I don't. Oh well.
I was talking to a friend the other night, rehashing my most recent Saturday night outing. I went to a preview night for a club opening in LoDo in Denver. Free bottle service, pumping music, young men and women dancing until the sun comes up, you know, the typical club scene. There were short skirts, fake boobs, hot waitresses and mirrors everywhere, just in case one of the pretty people wanted to see how good they looked as they danced. And trust me, the mirrors got a lot of use that night.
As I'm relating the evening's activities, I lamented that my friend should have been there. To which she replied, and I'm paraphrasing here, "No, I'm more of a jeans and tennis shoes girls, and those girls are all high heels and short skirts." Upon reflection, I suppose this is true. But a part of me wondered, why it had to be that way.
The girl who had invited me to the club is an attractive woman, tall, slender, great legs, etc. She was decked out on Saturday, looked great, along with many of the other women there that night. But, and we've had arguments about this (well, not so much arguments as they were somewhat heated discussions), she is what I call high-maintenance.
And there it is:
It's been said. I called it out. There are high-maintenance women, and there are non high-maintenance women. This generally goes the way of conversations that begin with, "all women are crazy, but..." Some embrace it, others rail against it like Hamlet blathering on about "shuffling off this mortal coil." The Bachelor Diaries are nothing if not honest, and so when it comes to women, it has to be said, high-maintenance women are a pain in the ass.
So what defines a high-maintenance woman? There is no dictionary definition. I'm not even sure there's an agreed upon definition among men. Like a good Senator once said about porn, "I know it when I see it," it's the same thing; we know it when we see it.
For instance, I could point out someone like, say, Paris Hilton, and proclaim, AHA, she is high maintenance. I'm not sure I'd get an argument on that one, despite the fact that none of us knows her personally. I have my own definitions, which, I suppose, is just an awkward way of saying, here comes another list. So here goes.
The High Maintenance Woman:
1. Can't go anywhere without first putting on makeup
2. Refuses to be seen in public without "looking perfect"
3. Demands constant attention
4. Is highly judgemental
5. Needs constant validation (I love you, you look great, you're wonderful, etc.)
6. Freaks out over small things (tends to blow things out of proportion like forgetting birthdays, a
stain on a blouse, a slow waiter, etc.)
There are other elements, I'm sure when it comes to defining what classifies as high-maintenance. Listen, I'm not saying these are bad things, necessarily. There are some men who absolutely adore women who I would consider high-maintenance. There's also a challenge factor involved. High-maintenance women generally make men jump through hoops and work three times as hard for their attention. Frankly, I'm just too old to jump through hoops anymore. I've played that game, it gets tiring.
A point of contrast here. One of the women I went to the club with that night was a woman I've known for nearly 15 years. She was beautiful, funny and smart when I knew her in college. She continues to be those things even today. But there are multitudes of beautiful, funny, smart women out there. Not all of them, though, are as comfortable in a sweatshirt and pajama bottoms as they are in high heels and an expensive dress. The other woman with me was with her husband. Laid back is perhaps the best word I can use to describe these two.
They let each other do their own thing. Even raising children, getting used to living in a new town, dealing with a wound up dog, they still manage to be down to earth, non-presumptuous, non high-maintenance people I know. They have one of those marriages that gives hope to bachelors that real solid relationships are still possible.
Finding a balance:
I'm not saying I want to date a woman who is a big of a slob as I am. That would likely be disasterous. But I have to say, that I'm always shocked when women say they're surprised a man would find them attractive after they've just worked out and are still in their sweats. Because that's when a man really gets a handle on what a woman looks like.
Hair pulled back, no makeup, dressed in loose, baggy sweats and sweatshirt, glasses on in full display. That can still be attractive. I guess what I'm saying is this; women, you don't always have to be dolled up to be attractive. There's nothing hotter to me at times, than a woman in comfy sweats and slippers, hair just down, or even in a pony tail, wearing their glasses, reading a book on the couch.
If you haven't figured out by now, I think girls with glasses are hot. I know, a lot of women think they look awful in them, but ask around and you'll discover I'm not alone. Go ahead, I dare you. Ask your friends, take a random poll of men on the street. You might be surprised how many men find glasses on women to be hot.
So go ahead women. Celebrate your freedom from high fashion. Dress down. Wear your glasses with pride. Trust that you don't need to go all Tammy Fay Baker with the makeup to be attractive. You also might find that the kind of man you attract is a better breed of bachelor. One that's not solely focused on how you look in a fancy evening dress or in the little black skirt. Of course, the added bonus, for the bachelor at least, is that if they find you attractive in the sweats and jeans and tennis shoes, they'll be absolutely floored when you DO get decked out for a night on the town.
Just don't forget to wear the glasses.
No comments:
Post a Comment