There's a commercial out right now, reviewing all the different ways to order a beer at a bar. I saw it the other night and it's been rattling around in my head. Mostly because I've tried many of the techniques they pointed out, hell, we all have. Seriously, I even knew a guy who tried calling the bartender at a crowded bar to get a drink. He got pretty much the same reaction the poor soul did in the commercial.
Hey, baby, nice pour. Now how 'bout that free shot?
But simply ordering a drink is for schlubs. Anyone can do that. You go to a bar, you plop yourself down on a stool, pull out your wallet and order a drink. Pretty routine stuff. Heck it's even pretty easy to get faster service at a packed bar if you know what to do.
Bachelor's listen up. If you ever find yourself in a bar and it's harder to get a drink than summitting Everest, all you have to do is pull out a wad of cash and conspicuously wave it in front of the bartenders face. Money talks, regardless of where you're at or what you're doing. If a bartender is staring at a sea of nameless faces, all begging for a jack and coke, or a martini or a 'rita, who do you think he or she will go to first? That's right, the one with cash in hand. The eye just seems to go to greenbacks flashing in the red and white strobes.
But I'm not even here to tell you how to speed up the inebriation process. Again, anyone with some cash can pull that stunt. No, the real trick is scoring free drinks at a bar. Now that takes talent, commitment, charm and a little bit of luck.
Here's how:
There are two types of free bar drinks. There's the "miracle" freebie, and then there's the "regular" freebie. One depends more on luck, looks and charm, while the other one simply depends on the level of commitment you're willing to give.
The "Miracle"
To make this happen you have to know a few things. First, if you're a woman, you know that free drinks come easier to you than they do men. Usually, these come from the other bar patrons, but if you're really attractive, it's likely you've also managed to grab your share of free shots from an interested bartender. This entry, however, is for the men who don't enjoy the same advantage. Sure, we could wear a short skirt and bat our eyes in a flirty fashion as well. Sadly, I just don't think it will have the same effect.
You also have to know that these rules apply mostly to bars and not dance clubs. It's easy to score free drinks at a club, you just have to know the right people. I'm talking about an actual bar, with a jukebox and low lighting and a derelict-looking fellow probably passed out in the corner. These are the "dive" bars or the "townie" bars we all grew up with. The kinds of places where you go with friends for a brew and some great conversation and to flirt with the waitresses.
Third, you have to be prepared to pay. I know, I know, I'm talking about getting a free drink, but before you can start to reap the benefits of the freebie, you'll probably have to pony up for at least a couple of drinks beforehand. You don't have to be a Greek Addonis to make this happen. Sure, it helps if you don't look like the Elephant Man, but charm is more important here than anything.
Tips on getting the "Miracle" freebie:
1. Be casual. Don't do anything that hints you're looking for a free drink early on. Be just another patron and just be yourself.
2. Be alone. It's a lot easier to get a freebie if you're by yourself. If you're with a group, the bartender is going to be less likely to give you a free drink, because then they'll probably have to give whoever you're with a freebie as well.
3. Compliment. This works easier if the bartender is a woman. Tell her she looks great, or that she makes a perfect dirty martini, whatever it takes. Yes, this is also considered flirting. This is okay. Be casual, hell, be awkward about it. Whatever you do, don't come off as sleazy or smarmy. You want them to be genuinely flattered by your compliments.
4. Try to spark a conversation. This works best when the bar isn't completely packed. Often times, bartenders will spend their down time chatting with regulars. Listen to the conversation, then, when he or she comes back to you, comment on the conversation. Add something to their conversation, say something witty or funny. This approach works equally well with male or female bartenders.
5. Find a commonality. Again, this works well with bartenders of either sex. I don't care if it's sports, fashion, drinks or cars. Whatever it is, if you can talk to the bartender about something they're interested in, you've made connection, and that is absolutely essential when trying to score a free drink.
6. Tip well. When you pay for your first drink, tip more than you usually would. Do this just for the first one. If your beer is two dollars, tip two dollars. Trust me, the bartender will take notice. After this first drink, you can go back to your normal habit of tipping (never below 20-percent).
7. Never ask for a free drink. The freebie has to be the idea of the bartender. You might get a freebie if you ask for one, but that's all you'll ever get. If the bartender takes it upon themselves to give you a shot or a drink for free, more will follow.
8. Pay for the first freebie. If you DO get a free drink, make the tip equal to, or nearly equal to the price of the drink. This means, in essence you've paid about half price for your drink, after tip. But if you do this, you'll find more free drinks coming your way as the night wears on. You can go back to a dollar tip per drink, or whatever you normally do. But thanking the bartender with a big tip after the first freebie is essential and you'll end up saving a lot of money in the long run in free drinks.
The whole point of getting the "Miracle" freebie is snagging a drink the first time you walk into a bar. Notice I have focused on the bartender in this scenario. This is because most waitresses are pretty jaded and more than likely NOT to be persuaded by your charm or looks. Plus, they're usually pretty busy and don't have time to engage in any conversation. Therefore, work on the bartender.
Getting a free drink on your first trip into a bar isn't easy. It takes some work, so it helps if you like to talk and are a reasonably personable person. The bartender has to get to know you, and, more importantly, like you, in a relatively short period of time. It can be done, I know because I've done it myself. But also know that it won't always work, sometimes, you just get lucky, sometimes you don't.
The "Regular" Freebie:
This method deals with earning free drinks at a bar that you go to regularly and actually uses many of the same tricks used for the "Miracle" freebie; relationships and conversation. You will need to utilize your charm, your wits, your humor and your money. The biggest difference in this method is the level of commitment and the fact that it will work on both bartenders as well as waitresses.
In this method, flirting is essential. Not flirting as in, "I want to take you home and make you my wife" kind of flirting. No, this is casual, "I know we'll never date, ever, but it's still fun to flirt," kind of flirting. With the waitresses, this is vital because they will never give a complete stranger a free drink, unless of course they look like my friend Naamdi, who, if he drank, I'm sure would never have a problem getting free drinks from ayone simply by walking into a room.
You'll still use the same 8 tricks listed above for the "Miracle" freebie, so I won't rehash them. But I will add a few others that are unique to this method.
1. Find a bar you like. This is important because you'll be going back to this bar over and over again. In order for this method to work, you have to get to know the bartender and waitresses, and they have to get to know you as well. If you don't like the bar, then it's just not worth it.
2. Get personal. After you've been there a couple of times, and they know your face and you've had a conversation or two during your bouts of flirting, chat them up even more. Talk about family stuff, a few personal things (that aren't TOO personal), like your girlfriend troubles or some minor work issues. By opening up to them, they'll be more likely to open up to you. This matters.
3. Never ask them out. I don't care if they're the most attractive woman you've ever met. A waitress or a bartender never gives drinks to a guy that has asked them out. Besides, it's a losing cause 90-percent of the time. You can ask her out if you want, but know that you're risking future free drinks if you do so. Once you ask her out, and she says no, then it's just awkward and kind of creepy to keep going to the same bar. You'll have to find a new bar.
4. Take your time. If you like the bar you're going to, then you should enjoy drinking there. Don't be impatient. In time, once they get to know you and used to seeing you, you'll become a regular. Regulars get free drinks, well, regularly. At the same time, if you've been going to the same bar everyday for a year and being charming and having wonderful conversations, but you've never been given a free drink, then it might be time to move on.
Listen, I'm a drinker. I enjoy drinking, particularly with my friends. I know that since I rarely go to bars by myself, the chances of me getting free drinks are pretty rare. But I've tried both of these methods with success.
In the end, as a bachelor, bars play a big role in our lives in some way. It's where we meet friends, potential partners for the night and where we gather to celebrate. My theory is this, if you're going to be at a bar, you might as well enjoy it. And what says enjoyment more than a free drink?
Salud!
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