That Face To Face Feeling

Hello folks, I'm back!  I kow, it's been a week since my last post, actually about eight days.  I've been neglecting my bachelor duties, and for that, mea culpa.  I've been busy with work stuff.  Gasp!  Bachelors actually work?  Well, yes, you have to if you want to have any money to, you know, actually go out and date.

But it's given me a little time to think about bachelorhood.  I didn't reach any kind of epiphany, but a few things did occure to me, and I wanted to pass a few of those thoughts along to my bachelor friends. 

Do I make you RANDY baby?

One thing that hit me was this; let's face it, being a bachelor is basically a superficial kind of lifestyle.  I know that sounds really bad, but I mean that with all good intentions.  Think about it.  You don't have any real comittments such as a wife, children, etc.  One of the great things about being a bachelor is that if you hate your job, you're much freer to simply walk away and go looking for something better.  Sure bills are an issue, but in the end, your biggest responsibility is making sure you have a roof over your head and food to eat.  Everything else is kind of gravy.

The Look Of Love:

Second, bachelors really aren't "looking" for love in all the wrong places, or right places for that matter.  For this reason, one of the first things bachelors do is judge potential mates and dates on their looks.  Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  The women I find attractive some men don't.  The women that other men find attractive, like J-Lo and Jessica Simpson I don't find attractive at all.  I say this because, as I've stated previously, women seem to think that all men are monolithic in what they find attractive.  It's just not true.

But it works the other way as well.  Bachelorettes are just as visually driven as the bachelors, particularly in 2010.  The male body image has changed, and continues to change.  As I thought about this, I started thinking about all the dating I used to do when I was younger and in shape. 

Then over the weekend I was out at a club downtown and I started noticing that the most successful bachelors were all skinny.  Apparently skinny is in.  Big, bulky, muscly...out.  Fat, never was in, unless you live in Japan, in which fat is a status symbol and was in the way Rubenesque women were hot 200 years ago.

Now, I'm fat. I've never really thought of myself as fat, but lately I've been seeing a lot of pictures and videos of myself and, really, it's hard to avoid.  This could explain why I'm getting as many dates as I would like.  In order to let your personality shine, you have to get ladies to talk to you first. 

A Goal:

And so, I've decided I'm going to start working out again.  Not to try and become the muscular kid I was 20 years ago, but simply to tone down and feel slim again.  My goal is to drop 50 pounds, and then see what happens from there.

I put this out there because I think in order to accomplish something you have to put it out to the universe.  You have to tell the world that you are shooting for a goal.  This way you make a kind of unspoken commitment to your friends and strangers and family that, yes, this is what you are going to do.  If you keep it a secret, there's no fear of failure, there's no one to call you on your slacking. 

Just like if and when I decide to quit smoking, I'll tell the world and let the chips fall where they may.  A lot of this came to me while I was doing a show Saturday night.  There's a woman I know, a very funny, attractive and talented woman.  I wouldn't say I have a crush on this woman, she's hard to get close to.  But I like her.  I caught her staring at one of our fellow performers, a man much younger than both of us.  This guy is one of the friendliest, nicest guys you will ever meet.  But to describe him best, I would probably use the word, "Adonnis."  I mean, the guy is a physical specimen.

Even the taller, skinner guys get the stares from the women.  At that point, I figured it out a bit.  Like a lot of bachelors, I realized that I don't need to, in fact I can't, compete with these younger turk bachelors roaming the streets.  I simply need to try and make myself the best bachelor I can be. 

Losing the weight will help me healthier, and probably make me look a few years younger.  Plus, with my gray temples and salt and pepper hair, I think I'll be a sexy beast, to quote Mike Meyers.  And if not, well, at least I'll be healthier, right?

Beauty Is Subjective:

It dawn on me, though that sometimes relationships is blind to physical appearance.  A good friend of mine is a big man.  A very big man.  And yet his girlfriend is very, very tiny.  My friend Meredith calls her "The Pixy" which I think is a fantastic name.  I'm not saying that bachelors and bachelorettes are superficial people.  I think we all have a ton of substance to us all.  Yes, we can be selfish and sometimes narcissistic and, yes, sometimes looks mean a little bit too much to us.  But we're also giving and caring and deep individuals. 

But one of the great things about being a bachelor is that we often have the freedom and ability to make ourselves over in whatever image we choose.  We're not beholding to anyone except ourselves.  This post isn't meant to belittle myself, or moan and complain about my situation.  As always, I love being a bachelor and I'm pretty happy with my life.  But it's to tell you, my readers and friends, that I will be trying to become, if not a better me, at least a thinner me. 

So sit back, watch the developments and cheer me on.  I won't be running any marathons anytime soon, but hopefully at some point I'll be able to look at a photo or video of myself and say, "Not THAT'S one good looking bachelor!"