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I'm not really a blind date kind of guy.  I think blind dates mostly work for people who are really pretty.  Think about it.  Blind dates are set up, usually by married friends, or friends who are already in relationships, because they feel bad for their single friends. (Note to you coupled folks, single friends don't need your help, and stop trying to make yourself feel better by helping the "downtrodden" singles)

So you go on your date, sight unseen.  You have no idea who this person is.  You don't know if you have anything in common.  The only thing you know is that you're going to meet a complete stranger and spend the next few hours with them.  What's the first thing you see?  You see their face, their body, how they walk, how they hold themselves.  Your first impression is purely physical.  Most blind dates are decided, good or bad, within the first ten seconds.  That's why pretty people generally find more success on blind dates.  Ironically, pretty people don't usually have to go on blind dates.

Facebook love...a strange new world

I suppose that's why online dating has become so huge.  At the very least, you get to see a picture of the individual you're supposed to meet.  You get to see if you have anything in common, you might even get to talk to the person beforehand.  It's like shopping.  You can go up and down the aisles, looking for the product that best catches your eye. 

You can even place an order if you want.  Or just browse.  Let's see, I'll go up the brunette lane and see if there's anything in stock today.  If you can't tell.  I have a serious dislike for online dating.

I know, I know, so many people use it, and we've all seen the commercials.  It works, it really works!  Also we probably all know at least one couple that met online and got married and now seem very happy.  To that I say, good for them.  I'm just not buying it. 

To the surprise of many who know me, I consider myself a bit of a romantic.  Maybe I just watched one too many John Hughes films when I was younger, or believed in the happy ending in musicals or put my trust in fate like so many Shakespeare characters.  I just don't believe you can go shopping for love. 

Oh, certainly you have to put yourself on the market, let others know you're available, but to actually go searching through a database for that one soul-mate, well it sounds like the desperate fanatasies of desperately lonely people.  No offense.

Nope, I believe in fate.  I believe that you turn the corner one day and BOOM, you meet the one person you were meant to be with.  Of course, timing has a lot to do with successful relationships as well, but that's an entry for another day.

I think that's what sets bachelors apart from singles.  Bachelors have fun playing the field.  They are okay with the times they are alone.  They take solace in their friends when they are down.  They don't go shopping for love, they watch for it, they make themselves available for it, and they jump on it when the opportunity arises, there's a difference.

Big Online Cajones:

So it is with little shock or surprise to hear that Facebook has become a new kind of dating service.  A kind of free catch all for those in the lonely hearts club.  We've seen and heard some of the stories.  Boy sees girls profile pic, boy IM's girl, boy and girl talk, boy and girl meet, they date, they get married, divorce likely soon to follow.

Sorry, my cynicism is showing.  But it's happening more and more.  A good friend of mine, attractive, tall, outgoing, recently received a Facebook message from a complete stranger.  It read:


"Hey, you and I should go out on a date sometime."

Now remember, my friend doesn't know this person.  Has never met him, seen him, talked to him, has had no interaction with this person on any level.  And yet, simply by looking at her pictures and reading her information online, maybe reading her posts, he stepped up to the plate and put himself forward as a potential date.

This makes me think of a couple of things.  First, who does this?  Sure, there's an image of a confident, cocky, if perhaps misguided young man.  But it also raises images of this random person cyberstalking the photos, the history, the background.  It all seems so...icky.

Facebook, Twitter, dating sites, they've changed the dating landscape.  You can now peruse friends' profiles, strangers profiles and see if there's anyone worth dating out there.  This alone is disheartening to me.  Sure, I know I'm sounding like an old fogey right about now, but it all seems so superficial.

Plus, men and women are asking others out on Facebook and via Twitter.  Then, when it all goes horribly wrong, they break up the same way.  Bachelors, here's a tip.  Don't do this.  Be a man and ask  a girl out face to face.  And when the time comes to break it off, well, you probably should do that face to face as well.

I ask you my bachelor friends, men and women both; has Facebook changed your dating habits?  I'm serious about this question.  I have been known to spend time IM'ing with friends on FB.  I have to admit, the anonymity of online can let you flirt more than you might in person.  I can see how this might lead to kind of virtual relationships.  You start talking to someone online, establish a rapport, and the next thing you know, you're on a date.

Dawn of a new age of love:

I mean, I get it.  Unlike IM's from days past, FB allows you to see the person you're talking to.  You can look at their pics, their friends, get an idea of who they are.  Back in the day, you only got words, today, you get so much more.

There's also that added dimension of reconnecting.  I haven't even touched on that yet.  FB allows for people to get in touch with long lost crushes and people of interest from days gone past.  That has probably rekindled old flames more than any other modern phenomenon.  Forget the class reunion, it's now all about Facebook.

Plus, we all now get to hear about their relationships in detail. How they met, how they regret all those lost years, how much in love they are, how they're eating popcorn together and watching "The Incredibles" together.

That's all fine, I guess.  Facebook has become the online equivalent of public displays of affection.  And when I say PDA's, I mean ALL kinds of PDA's, mostly inappropriate.  Ever heard of Chat Roulette?  Sure you have.  Now there's Chat Roulette dating.  Kind of like online dating only instantaneous.  But have you ever been on Chat Roulette?  From what I can tell, it's mostly just naked guys showing off their penises.  Once again, dating and romance takes an uppercut to the jaw.

So, yes, I get it.  I might not be on board with it, but I understand.  I'm just wondering if FB has changed the dating landscape forever.  I'm wondering if there's still room left for fate to reach her finger down and intervene in the affairs of the heart anymore. 

I'm thinking there is.