In fact, I don't think "dating" has changed very much at all, so let me rephrase. The terms used for dating has changed, and drastically apparently. I learned a lot of new and interesting things this weekend, which is always fun.
Oh no he DIDN'T just cancel our scheduled hangout!!!
It was on Saturday that the bulk of the learning happened, all within about an hour. I was the proud new owner of knowledge and now I'm here to pass it on to you. I had just finished a show down in the Tech Center, pretending to be a murder victim. That by itself was a good way to start the evening. I was at a table with a bachelor who had come to the dinner with a date, and another bachelor who was there with his daughter and her husband. Both the bachelors were much older than I am. It was actually interesting to see the bachelor who was there with a date compared to the older man there with his family.
The man with a date spent the entire evening being very quiet, much less animated than his date. Meanwhile the older bachelor spent the evening hitting on women half his age, but having a good time doing it. No one was annoyed by his antics, he was a jovial man who approached the entir evening with a sense of whimsey. By the end of the evening, the bachelor rancher and the other man's date seemed like more of a couple than the quiet man and the date.
It just reminded me that so often, attitude plays such a huge role in making a connection with others of the opposite sex (or of the same sex if you lean that way). Fun, outgoing and endearing will always overcome flaws in appearance, age or experience. Make a woman laugh and you're already well on your way to making a connection.
It clearly works much better than the bitter, brooding and angry persona I put forth. Sure, I can be funny and outgoing, but apparently I'm a moody bitch, according to some, so maybe I'm not the best example.
Later that evening...
I found myself at a local bar with some friends, and the topic of discussion turned to the dating life of one of the women at the table. A little background before we move on. The woman who was talking about her dating situation is in her early 20's, and she has a way of making anyone over 30 feel like they're ready for burial at any moment. She's attractive and funny and goofy, we met doing improv and now she's pursuing stand up.
Okay, so she's telling us about this guy she has her eye on, he's something called a "Freegan". Look it up, I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with dumpster diving for free food. Seriously. I'm not clear on the details, but really that isn't the point.
The woman was telling us how she had offered to take a salad in tupperware container to a stand up performance she was doing and the guy was supposed to be there as well. I suppose salad in tupperware is as good a relationship builder as jewelry or love letters, so who am I to argue. Besides, jewelry and love letters are so last century, right?
At some point during her telling of the story, she mentioned something about their "next scheduled hangout." At which point we stopped her and had a good laugh. Next scheduled hangout? When did this happen? Was it sometime after dates started demanding background checks at the first meeting? Or maybe it was after blood tests became required for dates. Perhaps its just the advent of all of our technology and our crazy minute by minute world making us all crazy so we have to schedule hangouts with people we're interested in. I don't know.
Listen, I'm not lamenting here, I just find it amusing. It's interesting how the language of dating has changed over the years. At one point, it used to be courting, then going steady, then dating. Now is scheduled hangouts I guess.
Okay, to be fair, this woman isn't dating this guy, at least not yet. They're just getting to know each other, and there are names for that. When I was in my teens and 20's we used terms like "hanging out" and "seeing someone" and "fooling around" and "dating" and "hooking up" and they all had different meanings.
The Lexicon of Love:
Hanging out isn't the same level of commitment as seeing someone. Although hooking up might mean the same thing as getting to second base. None of them is the same thing as dating. In fact, over the years, we have created cute little terms for all sorts of things related to dating.
Locking lips, knocking boots, the beast with two backs, the horizontal mambo, all euphemysms for sex. The one night stand, the one and done, the walk of shame, the hook up (which isn't the same thing as "hooking up"), we all know what they stand for.
So now we can add "scheduled hangouts" to the dating lexicon. I'm happy to add it. It now takes its place alongside the FWB (Friends With Benefits), the ambiguous "Partners" term and the MWL's (married without license to denote committed couples who don't get married).
The great thing about dating is that it will never stop, it never goes away. Like speed dating and now "chatroulette dating" it just goes on and on with no end in sight. And as times change, so do the terms used to describe the pursuit of romance.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go out and get myself a scheduled hangout.
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